This woman at work told me she would never think I would be intimidated. And this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this comment from someone.
I am. ALL THE TIME!! Wholly cow… if only she knew. The difference between me and her is… I hide it. Well. Behind smiles and sarcastic remarks. Behind laughing and hiding in the corner trying to remain unseen.
See, I grew up hiding the fact that I lived in filth. I can hide when my feelings get hurt (most of the time) and I can hide that I secretly crave knowing that I am good enough. I do hide when people make me feel inferior.
I get intimated by the cleaning girl at work. She cleans toilets and my job is much more glamours than hers is by far. I am not bragging… I am just stating the fact if she knew she could intimated me… oh .. the power she’d have LOL.
I work with a TON of really pretty women. Some younger… some older. Most of them are very pretty and very dressy. Me.. eh. To a degree I can dress. But, most of the time, I feel like a child playing dress up. Intimated? Yup.
I think in the back of my mind… if they only knew, they’d chew me up and spit me out. Ok.. I’m being a bit dramatic here, but hey, it’s my couch and I can be if I wanna be.. right? Ok, I’ll stop.
My point is, is that I do feel this way. Growing up how I did made me this way. I’m insecure. (to the point I make MYSELF SICK OF ME) My house isn’t a fancy house in a nice neighborhood. My dog is a mutt. My hair cut cost me less than $15.
Even if I had all these nice things… I really think I’d feel the same way. I never got that foundation I needed to be 100% confident in who I am.
Please, parents that hoard… please understand what your doing to your children.
I am your child. 10 years.. 15 years… 20 years from now. I am your daughter. Maybe she’ll be better than I am, more forgiving, but your taking the chance that she’s going to be even more messed up than I am.
Is this a chance your willing to take?
Please, don’t let your daughter grow up to feel that she’ll never be good enough… to feel intimidated by everyone.