My friend Joe is spot on with this assessment.
As a child of a hoarder and a victim of sexual abuse, this statement sums up how I feel when people didn’t understand my anger towards my mother and expected me to “understand” her or to “forgive” her.

When people expect children of hoarders to be very patient and respectful participants in the treatment of hoarders after a lifetime of being neglected and abused by hoarders, it’s like asking victims of sexual abuse to help their abusers to get treatment without acknowledging the damage done to the victims, much less getting treatment and support for them.

Joe’s blog can be found at Hoarder’s Son

**edited because I forgot to add a title!