I’m on my way to say a last goodbye to my mother.

This is probably the weirdest feeling I’ve ever had. It reminds me of a coin.

On one side – I feel one way – Flip it – I feel another way.

It’s moments like these I tend to really doubt my emotions. My brain tells me to feel a certain way because I think I’m expected to feel that way.

If I really want to get deep, down honest and authentic here: My thoughts are scary. They scare me anyway.

Know why?

Because I think, a “normal” person should feel this way (the way I don’t). Therefore, I am not normal.

I’ve always felt that I’m not normal in they way I should be. I feel messed up. I feel alone in my thinking.

My dream is dying, not my mom. I guess I’ll write more on that tomorrow. It’s late. I’m tired.